Feeling down ATM. But then again, I usually do. This time's different, tho'. I've stopped feeling as suicidal as usual. And by any standards this's a good thing, isn't it?
This is/was a big issue of mine... I always see the relativity in everything, the uselessness of living/doing/thinking/fighting... well pretty much everything. I dunno if it's because an imbalance of chemicals in my brain or that anywho has knowledge of what I do, get's to the same dark conclusions on every subject.
One thing gets me going tho' you'd be surprised to hear this from a 20ish year old but I really, really want to have kids!! As fucked up this world may be right now, and I bet more is to come... I feel this urge of just procreating with someone, not just anyone but anyone who'd have my specifications(vagina), and I don't ask for much. Altho' I totally could(I'm self-praising again)... But to be honest, I simply don't have time! And that's because I just can't move fast enough with these things, and alot of trust has to be build, in order for things to go smoothly.
Although... trust is debatable, and I've got one of the worst time-consuming/social-life-altering job there is, ATM. I will write more about that with some other occasion.
Meanwhile I'm thinking of how could I copyright everything I'm writing over here and also... what are the limits that I can stretch to with my own madness under these conditions. NVM I know that this is true, from within and as original as it can get. So nobody can take this away from me!
Oky, I'll go eat/chill/sleep hopefully. As I slept 3 hours out of 30 and eaten some bad fast-food beforehand.
Cya.
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